


There's Nobody Around

by IHearttheHitachiinTwins



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Evan haunts a greenhouse, Evan's dead, Family, Fix-It of Sorts, Gen, Ghosts, I mean, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Kinda, Murphy Family Feels, Reconciliation, Treebros if you want it to be, but everyone gets a happy ending, teacher Connor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-04
Updated: 2018-05-04
Packaged: 2019-05-01 21:38:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14529723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IHearttheHitachiinTwins/pseuds/IHearttheHitachiinTwins
Summary: Connor tried not to listen to the rumor mill at his school, most of it was shit talk on him anyway, but you had to be an idiot not to know to stay out of the greenhouse.The school’s greenhouse was significantly older than Connor, Run down and falling apart. Nothing grew there, it was in a position that got too much sun and not enough shade ever since they tore the old maths block down and any plant in there burned to a crisp. It was a desolate wasteland that everyone had given up on. It was used only for the local stoners to hide their weed stashes and a graffiti target. Or at least, it was before Connor was a freshman.Now he was a senior, and the whole place was lush with greenery. Flowers of every discription bloomed in various colours, fruits and vegetables grew plump and healthy, and the graffiti was all scrubbed away. The bench in the centre was fixed and an ideal spot for a loner or a couple who wanted privacy.Despite this, no one went in the greenhouse. Ever. Because no one took care of the plants.





	There's Nobody Around

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Your highschool is known to be haunted. When doing some homework after hours, you hear a voice telling you the answers.
> 
> Dedicated to: @sin-cerely-mi on tumblr, who indirectly gave me the idea.
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I don’t mean to villainise any character, but the story is from Connor’s POV, and he doesn’t have an exemplary relationship with his family. I think all of the characters are deveoped and have their own depths, but it doesn’t show the way I want it to, because of the way the story ended up. I think I did okay by the end.
> 
> Warnings (also in the tags): Smoking, cursing, references to self harm, references to suicide, depressive thoughts, intrusive thoughts

Connor tried not to listen to the rumor mill at his school, most of it was shit talk on him anyway, but you had to be an idiot not to know to stay out of the greenhouse.

The school’s greenhouse was significantly older than Connor, Run down and falling apart. Nothing grew there, it was in a position that got too much sun and not enough shade ever since they tore the old maths block down and any plant in there burned to a crisp. It was a desolate wasteland that everyone had given up on. It was used only for the local stoners to hide their weed stashes and a graffiti target. Or at least, it was before Connor was a freshman.

Now he was a senior, and the whole place was lush with greenery. Flowers of every description bloomed in various colours, fruits and vegetables grew plump and healthy, and the graffiti was all scrubbed away. The bench in the center was fixed and an ideal spot for a loner or a couple who wanted privacy.

Despite this, no one went in the greenhouse. Ever. Because no one took care of the plants.

It spooked the students, it disturbed the teachers, it plain old weirded out the caretakers. Who had cleared the dead plants? Cleaned the graffiti? Who watered the plants or cleaned the pond or picked the vegetables and fruit that ended up in a neat basket outside the local church after harvesting season? None of them did it.

So the rumor mill did it’s thing, and stories of a boy with an arm that was twisted and broken began circulating. At first it was the president of the environmentalist club, who was obligated to inspect the greenhouse every month. She had said that she had seen the boy crouching over a pot of tomatoes, but when she had blinked, he had vanished.

The next sighting came from a staff member, and added some creditability to the story. Miss Alton was one of those people who believed in the afterlife. She said that she had felt an aura coming from the boy, like a startled deer. Gentle, but scared. Some wrote her off as spouting nonsense. Others didn’t.

It had started maybe seven years ago, and to his knowledge, the only people to step foot in the greenhouse were people who did it on dares or people who wanted to bust the myth.

Connor thought it was bullshit, but it kept people out.

He had been coming here since junior year, when he had stopped caring what people thought. The bench was a good spot to get high and no one ever came in. He had never seen the supposed ‘ghost’.

Sprawling out, he took out his biology homework. He didn’t put much stock in grades, but his parents were going to take his car if he bombed this test, and that wasn’t worth it. Glaring at the word problems as if it would make them solve themselves, he started writing.

Shit, he knew none of this. He was going to...

_Um... Pho-_ _photosynth_ _e_ _sis_ _and respiration actually have an almost_ _codependen_ _t_ _relationship? It- Well- They’re really closely connected, so your last sentence doesn’t really make sense..._

Connor jumped at the voice in his ear.

“What the-”

He looked around, but there was nothing there. No one who could have spoken. He wondered if someone was screwing with him.

“Who’s there? Coming to laugh at the freak? Call me stupid? I’ll fucking kill you!”

He snarled, but nothing happened. Nobody appeared from the leaves to laugh to point a camera. Eventually he sat back down, now even more agitated than before. He was so fucking done with this. He looked down at his last sentence and blinked. The voice had been... right?

He rubbed out the error and looked around. No way someone was close enough for them to see what he was writing, even if they were hiding. Something was seriously off. Looking around again, he double checked that no one was there.

There was no way.

The voice didn’t pipe up again, and he continued with his homework. About halfway through, he threw it down. He couldn’t concentrate. Pulling out a baggie of weed, he rolled a joined and lounged back. Screw homework, he’d do it later. Who cares if his parents are mad? It was hardly anything new.

The joint burned down, he smoked until the cherry burned his fingers. He hissed and flicked the butt into a nearby plant pot.

_That’s bad for the saplings!_

The same voice spoke up again, sounding dismayed. There was a slight shifting, and the cigarette but flew out of the pot and on Connor’s shoes.

“What the fuck?”

Connor asked the empty air. His dealer was usually so good, was this weed bad?

He picked up the blunt and examined it. It had been extinguished. The small saplings swayed in a breeze that he didn’t remember being there. Connor pushed his head into his hands and tugged at his hair. Maybe this was it. He’d officially lost it.

_A- Are you alright? I- Well I didn’t mean- But it’s just- I didn’t mean to yell at you!_

Connor giggled to himself. Yup. He was crazy. They were right. Everyone was right. He was nuts. It would be better for everyone if he just-

Plip.

He heard something.

Plip.

It sounded like someone throwing pebbles into water.

Plip.

He groaned. May as well embrace it. Maybe a white rabbit will come and give him whatever shit Alice took. That sounded good. Following the sound, he found someone sitting by the pond, throwing small stones into the pond. It was a sandy haired boy in a blue polo. He growled. So this was the guy fucking with him.

“You think it’s funny to laugh at the freak, huh?”

He stalked towards the boy, standing over him threateningly.

“Well I’m not laughing.”

The boy looked up at him. Connor glared down on him in return, like an angry dog standing over a kitten.

_“I- I wasn’t laugh- I mean- You had the answer- then the plants- I’m sorry-”_

The boy seemed to have trouble getting a coherent sentence out. Connor groaned. Not only was he being fucked with, but he was being fucked with by a coward. Great. Even the fearful want to have a laugh at him. He dipped his head into his hands again. He seemed to be doing that a lot today.

“Just... fuck off.”

He looked up and the boy was gone.

* * *

 

Three days later and Connor had bombed the test. His car was gone and Larry was on his ass about everything. He had stormed out of the house that morning and made a beeline for the park. Ellison was the only place within walking distance of his house that felt even slightly peaceful. Winding through the trees, he found his way to his favorite spot. It was a huge oak in the middle of the park with a bench below it and some sort of memorial plaque below it. Connor had never actually read it. The plauque was relatively new and shiny, dusty and rusted with lack of care, but clearly newer than the tree.

He lay in the grass, ignoring the bench in favor of looking at the sunlight as it dappled through the leaves. He plugged in some headphones and played some music, loosing himself in the movement of the tree. He might have fallen asleep at some point, he hadn't slept well last night. Or the night before that. Or... ever, really. He was only snapped back to reality as the sky turned from blue to a dusky orange and the grass crunched as someone else approached the tree. He cracked an eye open and saw a man, probably not too much older than him, sitting down at the base of the tree. He wore a graphic tee with flannel thrown on top and the most thick, obnoxious glasses Connor had ever seen.

“Hey Ev, how ya been?”

The man was talking to the tree.

Right.

Connor almost stood, not willing to ar some sort of tree freak talk to an oak, but something stopped him. Something in the air had changed. This wasn’t a time for movement. And so he stayed, hidden by the long grass, and he listened.

“California was awesome, it was good to get away I guess.”, Glasses shook his head with a chuckle. “Met some crazy kid named Stiles. You would have hated him, your anxious ass would be terrified, that boy was a force of nature. Anyway, I just got back, you’re looking at a bonified business graduate, how cool is that? Told you all those hours whooping your ass at Monopoly was worth something.”

Connor’s eyes widened as he realized what he was witnessing. Not someone talking to a tree, someone talking to someone dead. He flushed a little, feeling like an intruder on something private.

“I was a crappy winner though, I can admit that. No wonder you stopped wanting to come round.”

The man took of the glasses to wipe at his eyes with a flannel sleeve and Connor was horrified to realize that the guy was crying. He was crap at emotions, he didn’t sign up for this. He stayed quiet as the guy looked back up at the tree.

“I was crappy all round, wasn’t I? Couldn’t even admit we were friends. Was that why you did it? Because you felt alone? I don’t believe you fell, Ev. Not for one fucking second. You never fell out of a tree in your life. I’m just-”

The guy broke off. When he spoke again it was choked and thick.

“I’m sorry, okay? I was an asshole and you were stupid and thought I actually didn’t care... I cared, Acorn. I did. I promise.”

Connor didn’t move. Determined not to disturb the guy. When he did eventually leave, it was dark. The forty something missed texts and calls were an indication that Cynthia was probably beside herself. He didn’t understand why she cared so much. It wasn’t like this was the first time he had snuck out.

Before he left, he pulled out his phone and turned on the flashlight. He shone it on the plaque and brushed away the dust.

Memorial to Evan Hansen, 1993 - 2011

So this was the ‘Ev’ the guy had come to see. He didn’t even know someone had died here. Trudging home, he thought about what he had heard. It was none of his business, and he should forget it. But something the guy had said...

“ I don’t believe you fell, Ev. Not for one fucking second.”

The implications of that made Connor’s stomach churn. As he slunk into the house and snuck up the stairs, he wondered if this Evan Hansen and he would have gotten along.

Seemed like they had some things in common.

* * *

 

The library at his school collected the yearbooks of every class. No one went to that corner of the library, so that’s where Connor ate lunch. But today, he was looking for something in particular. Identifying the yearbook for 2011, he slid it off the shelf and cracked it open. After a bit of searching, he found what he was looking for. A tribute page, a memorial to all the students that hadn’t made it to the end of the year. There were several paragraphs dedicated to a girl who had died in a car crash, and one boy who had broken his arm so badly he hadn’t been able to attend graduation, but what Connor was interested in was a small corner of the page dedicated to Evan Hansen.

Apparently he had died in a ‘tragic incident’ in which he had been climbing a tree in Ellison, his tree, when a branch had snapped and he had plummeted sixty feet to his death.

“I don’t believe you fell...”

Was that all this guy’s life boiled down to? A corner of a yearbook? Connor felt his hands start to shake. Meaningless. It was all meaningless. Life was-

Something caught his eye. The picture next to the paragraph. It was an ID photo, almost looked like a mugshot. The smile was forced and more like a grimace, but it was clearly...

“The greenhouse kid?”

No way. No way was any of this legit. No way.

Connor shoved the book back and grabbed his bag, heading towards the greenhouse. This was bullshit. It was all bullshit and he would prove it right now.

He kicked the door open and looked around. The greenhouse was serene and green, as always.

“Come on out Hansen, or whoever you are! This ends now!”

He got no answer, so he pulled out his lighter, holding it up to a particularly new and fresh looking pot of flowers.

_Don’t!_

The voice from before squeaked out and Connor took the lighter away.

“Come out so I can fucking see you.”

Connor swore the kid appeared between eyeblinks. One minute not there, then suddenly just... appearing. It was definitely Hansen. Wearing the same thing as the ID photo and all. Blue polo, kakis, sandy hair. Connor took note of the mangled arm.

It was real. Hansen, the ghost stories, everything. It was all real. Either that or he really was just fucking crazy.

_“P- please don’t. They- Well- Orchids take so long- I can’t-”_

Connor held up his hands.

“Hey, I was bluffing, just... Calm down.”

The boy looked like he waned to say something, so Connor spoke first.

“So, are you?”

_“Am I... what?”_

“Evan Hansen.”

_“Oh- Oh! Yes. Yeah, that’s- That’s me.”_

“So... You’re dead.”

Evan nodded enthusiastically before backtracking.

_“Well- I mean- I think- But-”_

Connor shut him off, holding up a hand.

“Just- I can’t deal with this.”

He turned to leave, done indulging his stupid mind for one day. Hansen reached out to grab his arm. It felt like a cold breeze, but otherwise did nothing. Connor stopped anyway.

_“Will you- I mean, will you come back in here? To do your- your homework? I... used to enjoy that. It gets lonely sometimes. I thought that would... stop. But it didn’t.”_

Connor was so shocked at the implication that someone enjoyed his company, even indirectly, that he found himself agreeing automatically.

“Sure.”

Hansen’s face lit up.

_“You won’t even know I’m here.”_

And then he was gone.

“I never did before.”

Connor said to the empty air.

* * *

 

It became a thing. Connor would do his homework in the greenhouse after school. At first, it was like before. Hansen didn’t show himself. If Connor didn’t know he was there, he would have thought he was alone. By the time Hansen changed something, Connor had almost convinced himself that it had all been a dream and he was alone, but one day, he looked up to see Hansen frowning at his calculus homework.

“Need something?”

_“Oh, sorry. I’m- Well I was- Really bad at math, but you do it so fast...”_

Connor shrugged. Numbers were easy. Hansen stared at him skinning through equations, looking confused, until eventually Connor started to explain what he was doing.

“You want to apply the log to everything, that way the exponent gets dragged down to the main equation...”

* * *

 

_“Do you like your parents?”_

Hansen asked out of the blue one day. They were a few months into their sessions, and Hansen finally felt brave enough to actually talk. Sure, he stammered, talked too fast or about random things, but that was just Hansen. Honestly, the ghost was good company.

Connor looked up from the English assignment and made a face.

“Hell no. Helicopter bastards who want a perfect son and not the waste of space they raised. They hate me, they hate each other, and they should break up.”

Hansen flinched. Connor wondered if he had been too blunt. Just like Hansen, he was learning how to talk to people, but Hansen just sighed.

_“I just... I miss my mom? Sometimes? I just, wonder if she ever became a paralegal. She was training when I- you know.”_

Connor hummed. Hansen talked about his mom sometimes, never his dad. Connor got the hint.

_“Maybe... try reach out to your parents.”, Hansen gestured to himself. “I know you think that the bond is_ _unmendable_ _, but you never know when it’s_ _gonna_ _be too late.”_

* * *

 

His family noticed something when his grades started spiking. The school emailed the reports home and Zoe got praise, like always. Connor slunk to his room, not bothering to stick around for the resulting screaming match. ‘Your grades are shit and so are you’ was a frequent one between him and Larry. When his mom tapped on his door, he almost turned her away. But then she would tell Larry, and he would come up. Connor didn’t want that.

“Come in.”

He called from the bed. Cynthia walked in with a copy of his report in hand, Connor braced himself for the quiet disappointment, but she was... smiling?

“Hey honey, I just wanted to say that I’m so proud of you. Look at this!”

She held out his report. A in Calc, B in English, B in Musical Theory, C in Psychology, A in Art, A in Biology. He had Hansen to thank for that last one.

“Honey, these are great. I’m so happy to see you’re doing better.”

Connor had barely realised. Sure, he was doing his homework. The greenhouse sessions were actually forcing him to study, and Hansen just looked so sad when Connor talked about bailing the classes...

He was passing.

For the first time in two years, he was passing.

Cynthia carefully reached out, trying for a hug. Connor almost pulled away, but then folded into the embrace.

“You never know when it’s gonna be too late.”

He owed his mom this much.

* * *

 

“Do you have siblings?”

Evan looked up from the daffodils as Connor asked him. Evan shook his head.

_“I know my dad has kids with his new wife, but I never met them, why?”_

“I have a sister and I treat her like shit.”

Evan set his jaw, he had been growing bolder as they grew closer. Connor didn’t think he’ ever been so close to someone before, he had a feeling Evan felt the same.

_“Well then, you should fix that, shouldn’t you?”_

* * *

 

Connor knocked on Zoe’s door with a bottle of nail polish in one hand and a fistful of hair ties in the other. He was nervous, So fucking nervous. He had worked this out with Evan the other day, but it seemed so stupid now. Of course she wouldn’t want to-

Zoe opened the door.

“What do you want Connor?”

She sounded irritated. Abort, abort!

“This is yours.”

He held out the black nail polish, he had swiped it years ago, but could never bring himself to use it. It felt like stealing from her. He had done enough.

Zoe took it, surprised.

“Yes it is... wait, did you steal it?”, Connor turned to walk away, unwilling to answer. “You have paint in your hair by the way.” She noticed. Connor froze.

This was it.

This was his chance.

He took a deep breath and turned around.

“It was in the way, I was painting.”, he gingerly held up the hair ties, suddenly blushing. Why was this so hard? “Can you- Do you want to braid it for me?”

* * *

 

Connor stormed into the greenhouse with a scowl on his face. Evan was there to greet him, like always. He seemed to sense the storm clouds, but pressed onwards anyway.

“Connor?”

Stupid fucking-

He whirled on the blonde.

“Why the fuck did you do it? Why the fuck did you kill yourself?”

Connor couldn’t control himself.

“I fucking need you, and you don’t even exist. You make me so much better, but you’re-”

Connor growled, frustrated. Biting at his fingers in a desperate bid to get some of the frustration out. His parents had taken him on the skiing trip with the Harrises and his mom had smiled and said he could take a friend. Connor’s mind had flown to Evan, but then he had remembered.

He had been stuck at that resort for a week, angrily thinking about Evan and his soft voice and his big heart and thought

What a waste.

Evan was a waste. He shouldn’t be dead. He should be out there, saving the rainforest or some shit. Not in a greenhouse in a high school, spending the rest of forever growing plants no one looked at and helping Connor with his homework. What a waste.

Evan looked so small, so shocked. They didn’t talk about the fact that Evan had killed himself. It was taboo between them, but Connor had stomped all over that like a bull in a china shop. He stormed right up to Evan.

“Why? You love trees and your mom and can name every plant species in here, why did you-”

Evan was crying.

Big, ugly tears rolling down his face.

_“I don’t- I don’t know- I was so- so alone- and I had no_ _frie_ _\- friends and everyone thought I was weird and-”_

Evan dissolved into even larger sobs. Connor froze. This had not been the plan.

“Well... I’m your friend, aren’t I? And I don’t think you’re weird. Please stop crying.”

Evan kept wailing, but he leaned closer to Connor as he did. It was cold, but Connor could deal. Evan couldn’t physically touch him, so he would give Evan whatever he could.

* * *

 

Connor stared across the table at his father.

“Connor.”

“Larry.”

The women of the house were out, leaving the boys alone. Eight months ago that would have been a recipe for disaster, now?

They had both prepared for this conversation, terrified of what the other was going to say. They looked at one another, wanting a sign. A hint. Not wanting to be the first one to make a move.

Eventually, Connor broke.

“I have something to give you.”

Connor got up and went upstairs. He grabbed the baseball glove his dad had given him a few years back and went back down the stairs. He handed it to his dad.

“I’m never gonna be the son you wanted. I’m not into sports, I struggle to pay attention in class. I’m not gonna be a millionaire.”

Larry nodded, looking down at the glove in his hands.

“But.. I am your son, in all my fucked up, angry glory. We don’t have to get along, but-”

Connor was cut off as his father caught him in a hug.

“I’m sorry.” Larry said, holding him tightly. “I’m sorry that I ever made you feel like you were less than enough. I only wanted what I thought was best and I failed and made it worse. Yu’ve tried so hard and done so well. I am so proud of you, Connor.”

Connor closed his eyes, a few stray tears slipping down his face.

“Thanks La- Thanks dad.”

* * *

 

Connor graduated.

If you had asked anyone whether they thought Connor Murphy would graduate at the beginning of the year, they would have laughed in your face, but here he was. Graduating high school.

Zoe had done his hair and his makeup. Larry had driven him there, Cynthia had even him a kiss on the cheek and told him that she always believed in him. All three of them were in the bleachers now, he could see them from the stage. He accepted his certificate and sat with his classmates. Through the rest of the ceremony, he stared in the direction of the greenhouse and wondered if Evan was watching.

He owed all of this to Evan.

His sister clapping from the audience, his dad’s proud smile, his mom’s embarrassing tears.

It was all Evan’s as much as his.

After the ceremony, he slipped his family and headed to the greenhouse. Evan ]met him at the door and drifted through him. Their own version of a hug.

_“Congratulations Connor.”_

Connor smiled at his best friend.

No words were needed, they knew what the other had to say.

Thank you for saving my life

_Thank you for living for me_

* * *

 

Connor found them after he graduated.

Evan’s people.

He found Heidi Hansen and Glasses, who he found out was named Jared Kleinman. He got permission from the school and took them to the greenhouse.

They were confused, they didn’t know who he was, but he talked to them anyway.

Heidi did become a paralegal, Jared now owned his own business.

They told him about themselves and Evan, most of it he knew, some he didn’t.

He saw Evan watching from the hydrangeas, smiling and crying. A cold wind circled the group at one point and Connor smiled into his PB&J, knowing that Evan was getting that last hug he desperately wanted and never got.

When they eventually parted ways, tears had been shed, numbers exchanged, and all of them felt loving eyes on them as they left.

* * *

 

Not many people payed attention to the rumor mill at that school anymore, but they say that the Calc teacher who sometimes does Biology too, will go down to the old greenhouse and talk to himself for hours. People used to think there was a ghost living in there, but it was just a silly rumor.

Sometimes people dare one another to vandalize it, but nobody really would. That place is important to Mr Murphy, and he’s cool for a math teacher. He comes to school in skirts and with his hair done nicely, or in leather jackets and ripped skinny jeans. He understands when people don’t want to go home, or when they can’t focus in class because something happened the other day.

Sometimes, when a student doesn’t want to go home, he’ll take them to that greenhouse. He’ll ask thin air whether it’s okay if he takes a fruit from a tree and sit them down on a bench. He’ll sit next to them and start grading homework assignments. Sometimes they’ll talk, others they won’t. But when they eventually leave, Mr Murphy turns around and winks at a small figure in a blue polo and kakis before waving him over to have him help with the biology grading.


End file.
